I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
