I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
