So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
