Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
