Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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