i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
