apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
These tits shall not be calmed
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
