i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize