All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
