Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
