a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
