That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
