It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
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