paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize