It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Text me some of your sweat
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
