i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize