So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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