The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
