Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So vagazzling was a success
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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