So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
