Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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