Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
