Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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