By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
