Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
