what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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