Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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