just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
