ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
