Whod you bang
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
