Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
