i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
