every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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