onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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