I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize