Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
did you just send me my own nude
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
