yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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