i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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