We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
