I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
