you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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