You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
