Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
