I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
