Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
