I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
