just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
this will be a night to untag.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Everyone says I win the strip club
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
