There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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