there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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