You work out of a Hotel?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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