thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
