He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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