sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
A+ Viking dick
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
