if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
