in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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