So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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