What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
