And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
