Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
